


Overcoming the past

by veryunhealthyobsession



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Dom Misha, Dom/sub, F/M, Happy Ending, Hurt Jensen, Hurt Jensen Ackles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safeword Use, Safewords, Sub Jensen, Suportive Wife, Trust Issues, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-07-20 23:49:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16148129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veryunhealthyobsession/pseuds/veryunhealthyobsession
Summary: Jensen starts to have wet dreams about Misha. When his homophobic wife, Allison, finds out about these dreams, she starts abusing him.Until one evening Jensen can't take it anymore, so he calls Misha for help. Misha and Vicki rescue Jensen as fast as possible, but what they find is a scarred and broken man.





	1. HEAVEN

**Author's Note:**

> I choose Allison to be Jensen‘s wife, because I can’t imagine that danneel would do anything that would harm Jensen.

p.o.v. Misha

It’s a Saturday evening and my wife and I managed to bring the kids to bed half an hour ago. We have been at my mother’s house the whole day, so luckily the kids had been quite tired and we had almost no problem getting them to sleep. Now we are sitting on the couch in the living room, while some home makeover show is playing on the TV. I don’t really care, but my wife seems interested in it, so I don’t complain. While we sit on the couch, I can’t help but start thinking about the upcoming season and the convention last weekend. It had been three extremely stressful days and on top of that Jensen had been ignoring me most of the time. I know better, than to be offended by that, he just sometimes has too much to do and then the persons around him have to put up with his childish behavior. And well… usually that behavior hits me especially hard. 

“Hey,” Vicky interrupts my train of thoughts. “What’s going on in that funny brain of yours?”

“Oh, nothing important. Just work…You know the usual.”

“Really, nothing? Why can’t I believe that? Come on, tell me.”

“Really, Vicki. It’s not important.”

Vicky knows me better than to push further. I would talk to her eventually, when I wanted to. And now Jensen and his stupid habits are the last things I want to think about. Not when I’m alone with my, by the way, super-hot wife for the first time in two weeks. No kids, no coworkers and no parents, if that doesn’t call for some sexy times.  
I lean towards Vicki and press my lips to her collarbone. She starts to squeal, because she was always very ticklish, but she loves it nonetheless, when I worship her by kissing every part of her my lips can reach. 

But our time alone comes to a sudden end, when we hear Maison storming down the stairs, followed by her big brother, who is chasing her around with an old pair of shoes (which I can’t remember having seen for at least a year).

“Oh, god. What have we done, to be punished with these two monsters?” I mutter under my breath, to which my wife replies, “Well, that’s entirely your fault, because you raised them to be these dorky little humans.“

“Hey, I’m not the only one raising these kids. It’s partly your fault too.”

Vicki just rolls her eyes and starts to get up from the couch, while she uses this special voice of her, she only uses when the kids, or in some cases me, are in big trouble. I follow her, because she’s right (as always), we raised these kids together and now we have to deal with them together.  
When I get to the kitchen I almost start to laugh. Vicki’s ‘mother voice’ seems to have worked, because Maison and West are standing in front of their mother and are looking like someone just told them that they won’t be allowed to eat sweets for a whole month. I stand besides Vicki and put on a serious face.

“West Anaximander, why the hell are you two still awake? And why are you, West, chasing Maison with an old pair of shoes?”

“We aren’t tired anymore and because we already had been sleeping we thought it was okay to get up and play a bit.”

“West, it’s 11:00 pm. That’s no time at which you two should be running around. And where did you even get these shoes? I thought I had thrown them away, Maison?"

“We wanted to use them for our treehouse, but then West noticed that they were smelling very badly and so we decided we could use them to scare the monsters under my bed away.”

“Okay, that sounds kind of reasonable, but I’m sure that you two can still hunt the monsters under your bed tomorrow. Deal?”

“Okay.”

“Now, back to bed you two. Maison, come on. I will bring you to bed and mom is taking West.”

It only takes another 20 minutes until the two are fast asleep and we can return to our spot on the couch.

“God, I honestly thought they were asleep, but I should have known better to assume, that it would be that easy to get them to sleep.”

Just at the moment I resume kissing my wife, I hear my phone vibrating on the coffee table. And it is very tempting to just ignore it and have my way with Vicki, but I have to check, if it’s someone from work. As I unlock my phone, I see that I have 23 new text messages and 3 missed calls and each one of them is from Jensen. I kind of start to get nervous, because Jensen isn’t someone who just texts or calls that much and if he was so eager to reach me, something bad must have happened.  
I immediately press the recall button and start calling Jensen. I don’t have to wait long, before the beebing stops and I hear a sad, but familiar voice on the other end of the line, “Misha?” Jensen must have been crying, because his voice is kind of ruff and he is sniffing at the end of every word.

“Yes. Yes, it’s me. What happened Jen?” I try to comfort him.

“I… I… have…please. Mish, can you just get me? Please? I don’t… I, please?”

“Hey, easy. Where are you? Deep breaths, easy. I’m here, just talk to me, Jensen.”

“I… I’m at home, please come… please.”

“Okay, I’m on my way. Now talk to me. What happened?”

“It’s Allison. She…” I hear him just barely whisper.

I try to sound calm for the sake of Jensen, but I have no idea what to do. I look at Vicki who heard every word Jensen said and wait for a reaction of her. Her brain seems to have analyzed the problem at hand faster than mine, so she jumps up, grasps her phone and the keys to the car and grabs my hand and hauls me outside as fast as we both manage. Jensen is crying even harder now and I try to calm him down by just speaking to him. I fear that he might hyperventilate from all the air he is sucking in all of a sudden. I have no idea how to calm him down, but I guess just the sound of my voice helps him a little bit. I’m not trying to get him to tell me what happened, because Jensen isn’t able to talk at the moment. He is too worked up right nie, so the only sound is my voice and the sound of our starting car. Vicki, god bless that woman, had been very fast to react and had called our neighbors to come get the kids from our house because of an emergency. Now she is driving way past the speed limit to Jensen’s house.  
Jensen is kind of talking now, but I can barely understand anything, just a few words like ‘please’ or ‘Mish, help’. Vicki drove as fast as ever before and so well pull into Jensen’s driveway just 15 minutes later.

“Jensen, we’re at your house. Do you think that you can open the door?”

“Don’t know,” is the only reply I’m getting.

“Okay, no problem. We’ll come in, we have a key.”

“Yes… Yes, okay. Please, Mish, fast… Allison she.”

“Hey, I will stop talking now. Okay, we are in the house.”

I put my phone in my jeans poked and shout, “Jensen, hey where are you? It’s me Misha and Vicky as well.”

Before I can get an answer, I see Allison emerge from the Livingroom.

“Misha? Vicki? Why are you here? …Oh no, he called you, am I right? That bloody faggot just couldn’t take a few hits without calling his boyfriend.”

“Hey, Allison, what are you even talking about? Where is he, now?” I snap at her.

“And what was that? You hit him? Oh, you ill bitch,” Vicki added.

“What? I’m not the ill one, Jensen is. He’s the one dreaming about you fucking him, not me.”

“Allison, I swear to god, I’m usually against violence, but if you don’t tell me right now where he is, I swear I’m going to punch you right in the face”

“Hey, calm down. No need to freak out. I think he’s still in the bedroom. Now go and get that faggot. I don’t want to see him anymore.”

“Oh, shut up you stupid bitch,” and with these last words Vicki and I storm up the stairs, that lead to the first floor and to the bedroom. I’m the first one to burst through the door and what I’m seeing there takes my breath away. Its Jensen crouched down on the floor between the nightstand and a closet. At the sound of the door he shrinks even more, maybe expecting someone else to pass through that door than Vicki and me. He looks miserable in just his boxer shorts, barely covering his hips.  
The next thing I notice is the blood on his nose and his shoulders, but that’s not the only thing, his whole left ribcage is covered in deep violet bruises and on his wrist are angry red bruises. I indicate Vicki to wait at the door and try to get Jensen’s attention by talking to him in a low, sweet voice, “Hey, Jen, it’s me, Misha, and look there’s Vicki.”  
He starts looking at me, but that doesn’t mean that he looks any less frightened, so I get down on my knees and start approaching him very slowly. His gaze is fixed on me, but he does not flinch again, so I stop right in front of him.

“Schhhhh… SchhhhSchhhhh… look I’m not here to hurt you, okay? I just want to get you out of here. Is it okay if I touch you?”

He nods. I take a blanket from the bed and wrap it around him. While I brush his shoulders, he tenses, but he doesn’t try to get away from me, so that’s a good sign.  
“Look, that’s better now, right?” I ask, but only get another nod as an answer. But I guess that’s better than nothing. Vicki starts approaching Jensen as well, but Jensen starts to flinch again and whimpers, “Please, no sorry… don’t.”  
She backs away until Jensen stops sobbing a bit.

“Hey, Jen, calm down. I’m here. No one will hurt you, okay? Now, do you think that you can get up?”

He just shrugs his shoulders.

“All right, then let’s try,” I mumble, while I reach under his arms to help him get up. He practically clinches onto my side, but we manage to get down the stairs, to the door. Only now I notice that his right foot must be hurting as well, because he tries not to put his whole weight on it. Luckily Allison doesn’t try to stop us or decides to shout insults at Jensen. Vicki follows closely behind us and opens the door to the car. Jensen and I sit down at the backseat, while Vicki starts to get behind the wheel. Jensen starts to shake, so I pull him closer to me and whisper sweet reassurances in his ear.

“And now?” Vicki asks, “Should we drive to a hospital?”

“No, No… please, no hospital. I can’t go there.”

“Hey, slow breaths, Jen. If you don’t what to go to a hospital, we won’t go there. Vicki, I think it would be best, if you just drive us home. If we have to, we still can call a doctor later on.”

Vicky start the engine and pulls of the driveway. I look at Jensen who is sitting right at my side, clearly tense. I rub his arms, trying to comfort him. My heart is still racing incredibly fast, from all the adrenaline in my body. But as it begins to calm down, I can’t help but wonder what had happened to Jensen. It clearly has something to do with Allison, but I can’t ask Jensen, not in the state he is in right now. So I just begin to stroke Jensen’s side and let him lean into me as Vicki drives us home.


	2. THE QUIET

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy chapter two!  
> I'm sorry for every mistake, English is not my first language.  
> Again, no sex, but you might die, because of fluff.

As Vicki pulls into our driveway, Jensen looks up for the first time since we got him and I’m able to take a closer look at his face. Jensen has a beautiful face, even now, while his nose is covered in dry blood and a few bruises are framing his face. But there is one thing that’s making me angry, it’s his eyes, they are red and puffy from all the crying he has done. I’m not angry at Jensen, he didn’t do anything wrong. I’m angry at the person who did this, and that person is Allison. But I’m also angry at myself, because I didn’t notice anything sooner, clearly Allison must have been hurting Jensen quite some time. I should have been more observant, should have talked to him. I would have seen the marks, the bruises, but I didn’t, so it’s partly my fault, that the abuse Jensen suffered from could be going on for so long.  
I must have stared at his face quite some time, because Jensen lowers his head all of a sudden, his gaze fixed at one point on the floor, trying to avoid every eye contact.

“All right we are home,” I hear Vicky say.

I reach onto Jensen’s other side to unbuckle his seatbelt, get out of the car and help him up. We slowly walk up the stairs that led to our house. Jensen is leaning heavily onto my side, so I’m kind of carrying him, his foot clearly bothering him. Vicki opens the door in front of us and I carry Jensen inside the living room. I led him to the couch and help him sit down. I get besides Jensen and Vicki decides to kneel in front of us.

“Okay, what now?” Vicki starts, “I mean, Jensen, it’s completely okay, if you don’t want to go to a hospital, but we have to do something about your injuries.”

Jensen just shrugs his shoulders and tries to hide most of his body under the blanket. I sense that Jensen is uncomfortable, so I reach for his hand, offering to take his hand in mine. I start stroking the back of his hand with my thumb.

“Vicki why don’t you go and get Jensen some clothes? I think a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie, boxer shorts and a t shirt should be fine.”

“Good idea. I will get something.”

The moment Vicki leaves the room, Jensen starts sobbing again, so I put my arms around him and pull him closer. His face buried in my t shirt and his hands clinging onto the fabric on my back.

“I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have called. I will leave the moment I have the clothes,” he sobs.

“No shut up. Stop talking like that. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yeah maybe, but you shouldn’t have to deal with my problems. It’s ... it’s all my fault. I sorry, please just don’t… I’m just a burden for you.”

“Oh, Jen, you should know by now, that you could never be a burden for me or for Vicki. You are my best friend, I would always help you.”

“O… okay, thanks.”

“So… I know that you are in pain. Do you really don’t want to go to hospital?” I ask.

“No, no please I… I can’t. Please don’t make me go.” 

“Shhhhh, hey, slow breaths. I won’t make you go, but you have to at least let me or Vicki take a look at your injuries. You know some of them are pretty bad.”

“Mhh, okay, but only you not Vicki,” he whispers, almost not audible.

“Completely okay.”

I lean back against the cushions of the couch. Jensen still at my side, his head resting on my chest. My hands wander up his spine to his hair, because I can’t help myself and try to soothe his sobs by carefully stroking his hair. He’s a sweet guy he truly is, I know that he seems a bit harsh at times, but if you know him a bit better, he can be a true sweetheart. He loves and gives with his whole heart and that’s why I adore him so much.

Vicki comes in thru the door, that leads to the kitchen and never have I seen Jensen try to get away from me so fast. He practically jumps to the other side of the couch in under one second.

“Wow, slow down, Jensen. It’s just me. Here, I got you some clothes. This is Misha’s favorite hoodie, you’re lucky that he isn’t wearing it right now, because it’s so comfy. Oh and here’s something to drink and a snack. Do you want anything else to eat?”

Jensen hesitates, than nods, but again doesn’t say a word to Vicki. But my wife does not seem to be bothered by that.

“Okay what do you want? Soup, a sandwich, oh and I still have leftover lasagna from yesterday. You choose.”

Again Jensen looks kind of lost and makes no move to choose one of the offered meals, so I pick for him.

“I think a soup would be the best now, maybe tomato soup?” I say, because I know that’s Jensen favorite.

Vicki leaves the room again, which leaves me alone with Jensen.

“Hey,” I say softly, “What was that about, hmm? Why did you want to get away from me so fast? You know it okay for you to snuggle with me. It’s nothing you have to be embarrassed about. I don’t mind at all, I enjoy it. And Vicki couldn’t care less that we were snuggling, okay?”

Jensen nods again, “I just thought that Vicki would get angry at me, because I’m touching you. I mean she’s your wife after all.”

“No, really she doesn’t mind, so come here and let me help you with that bottle,” I offer, because I notice that he is struggling to open the bottle with just three unhurt fingers.  
I almost ask why he thought that Vicki would be mad at him, but I decide against it, already knowing the answer and not wanting to trigger another panic attack. I help Jensen take a few sips of the water and than open the box Vicki brought Jensen. Inside is a small pumpkin bread, Vicki knows Jensen loves. I give him a few smaller bites, I know he can eat without causing too much pain while chewing. Jensen manages to eat half the bread before he wants to stop.

“Now let’s take a look at these injuries, but not here. Come on, let me help you to the guest bedroom.”

One arm around Jensen’s waist, with the other one carrying the clothes, we manage to get to the guest bedroom quite easily. I let him sit down on the bed and put the clothes besides him.

“If you want to, you can put on the new boxer shorts, while I gone. I will go and get a few things, okay? I won’t be gone long, just maybe five minutes.”  
I jog to the bathroom, not wanting Jensen to wait too long. I get a cloth, a few towels and the first aid kit. On my way back, I go to the kitchen, where Vicki’s standing at the stove and heating a can of tomato soup.

“Vicki, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Of course. What’s the matter?”

“Okay, so its hurts to say it, but Jensen thinks that you are mad at me or him, because we snuggled, that’s why he was so eager to get away from me the moment you came through the door. I already told him, that you are absolutely okay with it, but I don’t think its done by that, so maybe you could tell him yourself and don’t take it so hard if he doesn't speak to you. It has nothing to do with you personally.

“Oh fuck, that’s awful. That poor guy. I will make sure to speak to him, but only with you in the room. I think that way he’ll be more comfortable.” 

“Yeah, that’s really fucked up. Allison seems to have last an impact on him. That homophobic asshole. But I think it’s better, if we ignore her for now. Do you know if we have any pain meds other that the ones in the first aid Box? Jensen agreed to let me take a look at his injuries.”

“One moment. I think here in this cupboard should be some.”

I reach up and grab a box of paracetamol.

“Perfect, Vicky. You truly are the best.”

“I know, now go and help Jensen. It’s probably not the best idea to leave him alone for that long.”

Shit, my short trip to gather all the supplies took longer, than expected and so I sprint back to Jensen.

“Sorry that I…” I manage to say, but than I stop. Jensen is sitting on the floor in just his boxer shorts, the blanket next to him on the floor. God has he always been so skinny?  
“Hey sweet guy, why are you on the floor?” I ask him, not really expecting an answer. Jensen is shaking horribly right now, so I take the blanket and wrap it around him and sit down next to him. I kind of blame myself, Vicki was right once again, I shouldn’t have left Jensen alone for that long.

All of a sudden Jensen says, “The sheets, I don’t want them to get dirty.”

“And that’s why you don’t want to sit on the bed?”

“Yeah that’s at least how Allis…”

“Shhhhh, stop thinking about her. It’s not important, what she would have done, okay? I want you to sit on the bed, even if it gets dirty that way. It’s still only a thing, it can be cleaned.”

Jensen nods.

“But look here is a towel, that we can put down on the sheets, that way you don’t have to worry about them getting dirty.”

Jensen shifts besides me, clearly not shaking so strong anymore, so I haul us both up, sit Jensen down on the bed and put a big towel on top of the sheets.

“Now, could you lay down here? Yeah, just like that. So, first I’m going to clean you a bit. Wipe away the blood on your face.”

I take a cloth and gently wipe away the blood underneath and around his nose. He hisses in pain.

“Oh, I’m sorry, here just let me leave that part out.”

I work fast but careful, avoiding the spot right under his nose.

“All done. Now I need you to tell me, where it hurts, so I can take a look at it. And listen to me, because this is important.”

I put my hand on his neck, to get his attention.

“If you feel uncomfortable at any point of this, I want you to tell me, okay? Look, I’m going to have to touch you, but if you want to stop or take a short break that’s completely okay. I want this to be as easy for you as possible.”

“O… okay, just please, I-I mean you don’t have to do this. You know some of these… are pretty ugly.”

“Jensen stop it right now,” I whisper, “You know you can’t change my mind about you. Nothing about you is ugly, not even these bruises, they’re going to heal. Now tell me, where does it hurt?”

“Well mostly it’s my ribs, my right foot, my nose and I can’t bend two fingers of my left hand. And all of these bruises, but most of them don’t hurt anymore.”

“Then let’s start with the ribs.”

I take a bottle of numbing cream and spread a good amount onto his skin. Then I take a bandage and wrap it around his ribcage, not to tight, I don’t want to cause him anymore pain, put so that the cream stays on his skin. I’m not an expert, but I’m quite sure, that his ribs aren’t broken, just sprained. But to make sure a real doctor would have to look at him and that’s not possible at the moment.

“Hey one thing done. Wasn’t that bad, right?”

“No it wasn’t. Can I put my shirt on now? Please?”

“Yeah of course. Here let me help you. You just have to lift your arms a bit… jup just like that.”

I don’t really know what to do next, but decide to take a closer look at his fingers. They don’t look bad, but I know from experience, that a sprained finger hurts really badly. I take his slightly bend fingers in my hand and decide to put some cream on it and then a bandage, to stabilize the fingers. I wrap the fingers thight,but not to firm, just so he can’t move his fingers anymore.

“Is it to firm? Does it hurt?”

“No, not at all. It’s good like that, thanks.”

“So… about your nose. I’m not sure what to do about it. I think it would be better if we just leave it alone. But about your foot I think I can do something. Could you try to move your foot?”

Jensen rotates his foot a bit, clearly in pain.

“Okay, you can stop now. So you can still move your foot, that’s good, it means that no tendons are teared. I think we’ll just have to cool the foot and wait. I believe that’s everything I can do now. Is there anything else you want me to take a look at?”

Jensen just shakes his head, but then mumbles something; I can’t understand.

“What did you say?”

“I-I was just asking if you could maybe help me with the clothes. I mean you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“Of course. Here sit up.”

He props himself onto his elbows, wincing in pain, because of his ribs.

“Let me help you,” I say as is put one hand on his lower back and the other one on his neck. I help him up and grab the new boxer shorts.

“So what do you want me to do? Is it okay if I look or do you want me to look away?”

“I… I don’t know. May-maybe don’t look. I think I can put on the boxers with a little help, o-okay?”

“Yes completely.”

Jensen struggles a bit, but manages to strip down the old boxer shorts, while I look away. Then I help him put his hurt foot thru the opening and pull the new boxer shorts up to his hips, my eyes avoiding his crouch. Jensen manages the rest and I look back at him.

“All done?”

“Yeah, all done.”

“Okay, now the sweatpants.”

The pants cause no problem and the only thing left is the hoodie, my favorite, and I wouldn’t just let anyone wear it, just Vicki and now Jensen. He lifts his arms up, I help him inside the hoodie and guide his fingers true the sleeves.  
God, he just looks so fucking cute in the clothes, I can’t help myself but stroke his hair, that’s all messed up at the moment.  
Suddenly Jensen lets himself fall into my arms. I wait for a moment, expecting him to start crying again. But he doesn’t, so I let myself fall back, Jensen on top of me. He looks different than before, not happy, but content, so I joke, “I didn’t know you were that big of a cuddler, sweet guy.”

“Oh, I can stop if you want me to,” he looks stressed.

“No, no it was a joke, Jensen. Really, I love it.”

“Oh, okay.”

He smiles and puts his head back down onto my neck. We lay like that for about five minutes before I remember, that Vicki still cocked something for Jensen and Jensen must be hungry as well.

“Jensen, hey,” he seems to be asleep, “Hey gorgeous. Do you want something to eat? Remember Vicki made some tomato soup.”

“Oh yeah. I’d love that.” 

“Great, one moment. Just let me sit up, so I can help you.”

I haul Jensen to his feet, my hand around his hips. He’s a lot more comfortable with me touching him than two hours ago, but I’m still sure that something drastic happened to him. I can’t ask him, not now, but we’ll see what the next few days will be like. Now I’m just happy to have him by my side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos, thanks!


	3. TALK ME DOWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, enjoy. I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort, so maybe this story will get a bit out of hand.

As Jensen and I enter the living room, Vicky brings in the tomato soup and sets it down on the dining table.

“Oh there you are. Good timing, our neighbors just called me and asked if I could come and get the kids. Apparently they gave them some sweets, not knowing what that would do to them. And now our kids are running aroud and playing ‘race dogs’. I have no idea what that is, but I don’t want to let our neighbors suffer any longer, so I have to go and get them.”

“Yeah, that’s probably the best. I don’t want them to move away, just because your kids scared them to death,” I joke.

Vicky snorts. „Yeah, I can actually see that happen.“

Jensen shifts besides me, so I help him sit down on one of the chairs. He looks quite uncomfortable probably because he’s still sore and everything, literally everything, hurts with damaged ribs. Vicky must have noticed that Jensen is uncomfortable as well, because she leaves the room, saying, “one second I’m gonna get you a pillow.” She returns just a moment later, a big pillow under her arm.

“Here I got you a pillow, Jensen. Do you think that you can lift your butt for a second?”

Once again Jensen doesn’t answer, but he props himself up on his hands just so Vicky can slide the pillow underneath him.

“Thanks,” I hear him whisper almost not audibly, but Vicky must have heard it too, because her face lightens up and she begins to smile.  
“Oh, no problem sweetheart. I’m happy that I could help you. Do you two need anything else?” She asks looking at Jensen and then at me.

“No thanks, I don’t think we need anything, and I mean you won’t be gone long, right?”

“Yeah, I hope so. We’ll see how long it will take me to get the kids home.”

“Okay yes, that could take some time. Better you go now.”

“Yeah. Seen you two in three hours.”

Vicky leaves the room and so I sit down next to Jensen, a bit closer than necessary.

“Are you comfortable or do you need another pillow?”

“No, thanks. It’s okay like that. I’m just hungry.”

“Oh that’s good, because Vicky is gonna spoil you for the next few days, just so you know. Here let me help you with the soup.”

I pour some of the soup into his bowl and get up to get Jensen something to drink.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Oh, I was just getting you something to drink. What do you want? Water, tea or apple juice, it’s made out of apples from our garden?”

“Water is fine. Thanks.”

“I’m just going into the kitchen okay? You can probably see me most of the time.”

“Oh, okay.”

I get a glass and a bottle of water and return to Jensen. He sits hunched over the bowl and gulps the soup down, but as I enter the room he immediately stops. He looks horrified.

“I-I’m… I’m so sorry… Please I was hungry a-and I thought I would be okay if I started eating. Please… don’t. I’m sorry. I will leave right now if you want me to.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave,” I try to explain to him as calm as possible, because I feel like It helps Jensen calms down if I’m calm.  
“I’m not angry at you. You have no reason to think that. You can eat as much as you want, whenever you want. You don’t have to ask permission to eat.”

“Oh okay, I wasn’t sure, sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. Is it okay if I hug you now?”

“Yeah, I would like that.”

And so I get down on my knees and wrap my arms around him. We stay like that for some time, before I end the hug and get on the chair next to him.

“Everything okay now?”

“Yeah everything’s okay.”

“Good. Before you start eating again, I want you to swallow these pills, they’re painkillers for your ribs and everything.”

He takes the pills and swallows them with some water.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Now, do you want some more soup?”

“Yes, that would be nice.”

I pour more soup into the bowl and he resumes eating the soup, not as fast as before, but quite fast. He finishes another bowl before he wants to stop. So I take the plate and the cutlery and put them into the dishwasher. Then I go to the fridge, open the freezer and get a cooling pad for his ribs and another one for his foot. Normally we use them for any kind of boogie the kids have. I return to the living room and see Jensen, his head resting on his arms.

“Ohhh, are you tired, though guy?” I joke.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“It means I’m tired, but I don’t want to go to bed.”

“Oh no, not another one, who doesn’t want to go to bed. I already struggle to get the kids to bed. What am I supposed to do with you now?” I ask, in a sarcastic voice. 

“I don’t know. What do normally do with your kids?”

“Well usually I promise to read to them,” I say as I walk towards him and lift him up to his feet, his chest pressed against mine, “and then we cuddle a bit and I wait for them to fall asleep in my arms. Would you like that?”

I brush my hand through his hair as he suddenly looks down and whispers, “Maybe.” I know that he want to say more but that he can’t.  
So I leave it alone for the moment and begin to lead him to the couch behind us.

“Well if you don’t want to go to slept yet we can watch some TV and we can cool your feet and ribs a bit.”

“Okay, that’s fine with me.”

We settle down on the couch, I reach for the remote and put on some sport channel, some kind of tennis match. Jensen hesitates at first, but then scotches a bit closer to me.

“Could you put your foot on the table, please?”

I take a pillow, put it under his foot and put the cooling pad onto the foot. We don’t talk much for the next minutes, there’s simply no need for it and Jensen only manages to answer to my questions with a nod or a till of his head, so I pull him closer and whisper “Sleep.” into his hair.

Vicki and the kids burst in through the door 15 minutes later and Jensen wakes abruptly from his sleep and he looks up from besides me. West looks quite tired, but Maison storms towards me and Jensen and jumps onto Jensen lap. I react immediately and pull Maison from his lap onto mine.

“No, leave me alone. I want to hug Jensen.”

“No Maison you can’t hug Jensen right now. He’s hurt and doesn’t want to be touched. You have to leave him alone for now, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now go to mum, she’ll bring you to bed. Sleep tight, sweetie.”

“Night daddy, night Jensen.”

I turn to face Jensen and see him, his eyes closed and his body tense.

“Shit,” I sight, “I’m so so sorry. She should not have touched you. I should have reacted faster. Please, Jen, open your eyes. Look at me. Come on.”

He slowly opens his eyes and looks at me.

“Can I touch you?”

He nods. I wrap my arms around him and pull him into one of the many hugs this evening. He seems to calm down a bit, but then suddenly he starts sobbing again and his whole body is shock by his irregular breathing. It’s worse than ever this time and I have no idea what to do about it, so I begin to talk to him and rock him back and forth like a frightened child. I have no idea if it will help him, but it’s the only thing I can do for him at the moment. He eventually calms down a little bit to the point where he is able to talk again.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop. It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it now, okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Let’s just go to bed and sleep a bit. It’s actually pretty late and the kids won’t let us sleep really long tomorrow.”

There’s an awkward moment of silence, neither of us moving. I kind of feel like Jensen wants to say something else, but he doesn’t, so I eventually get up and help him to his feet. I help him to the bathroom. He looks tired, not only physically, but also mentally with his red eyes and messy hair. I step up to him and put one hand in his shoulder.

“Here you can sit down on the bathtub, while I get you a toothbrush.”

“Thanks.”

I open the cabinet under the washbasin and search for a toothbrush. After a moment I find a new one, it’s one for kids with dinosaurs on it, but I figure it doesn’t matter at the moment, so I open the package, put some toothpaste on it and give it to Jensen. I take my own toothbrush and sit down next to him. Once again there’s this thing Jensen seams to avoid talking about, but I can sense that there’s something going on inside his head that’s bothering him. We finish brushing our teeth and I leave him alone for a moment so he can use the toilet in private.

While he has a moment for himself, I make my way to Vicky’s and my bedroom. Vicky sits on the bed, reading a book. But the moment I enter the room, she puts the book down and looks at me. I sit down besides her and she presses a short kiss to my neck. And just like that I can’t help myself, but lower my head into her lap and let out a big sigh.

“What’s bothering you, hmm?”

“It’s just… it’s so strange you know. Normally Jensen’s always so tough or at least he wants to seem like a strong, though guy and now he’s so hurt and frightened, like something broke him and I don’t know what to do about it. I just feel so helpless. I mean he had at least four mental breakdown only this evening and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean. But you have to give him a bit more time. Whatever happen to him really traumatized him. And look, he already is a lot more comfortable with you than a few hours before. And he already talked to me. I mean it was just one word, but I’m sure he’s gonna get better with time. Now we, and especially you just have to be there for him and help him as much as possible.”

I get quiet for a moment and Vicky traces her fingers true my hair. I mean, she’s right, but I just can’t help it and get angry at Allison, and feel sorry for Jensen, and wonder what happened between them and all in all its just a lot of emotions I can’t quite deal with and so it’s this confusing situation where I can’t help myself and feel hurt as well, but I’m not the victim in this case, so it’s just really fucked up and I don’t know what to think at the moment.

“Misha, stop. I know that face. Stop overthinking everything. You can’t do anything at the moment. Just be there for him, hold him and listen to him if he wants to talk.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

And then I get quiet once again and close my eyes, only concentrating on Vicky’s hands in my hair.

“There’s something I wanted to ask you. Maybe it’s a stupid questions, but I want to make sure you are okay whit it,” I begin. 

“Yeah, go on.”

“So my questions is… would it be okay, if I leave you alone tonight and go sleep with Jensen in the room? I mean, I didn’t ask him until now, if he actually wants me to stay for the night, but I wanted to make sure to ask you first.”

“Did you just really ask me, if it’s okay for me if you sleep in a room with your best friend, who’s hurt and scared, had four mental breakdowns this evening and starts panicking as soon as you leave the room?”

Now that she says it like that, I realize that it’s really a stupid questions.

“Yeah, idiot, of course I’m okay with it. I would kill you, if you would leave him alone now. Now go and take care of Jensen. He needs you.”

I get up from my spot between Vicky’s legs and press a quick kiss onto her lips.

“Good night, Misha.”

“Sleep tight, honey.”

I make my way back to the bathroom, but stop to take a quick look at the kids and (luckily) see both of them sleeping in their beds. As I turn the corner, I see that the bathroom door’s open and the lights are off. I wonder if Jensen already went to bed and go looking for him. I walk downstairs and enter the guest bedroom. Jensen sits on the bed, his back facing my direction. As I enter, he looks at me and tills his head in confusion, reminding me of Cas.

“Hi, can I come in?”

“Yeah of course. What are you doing here? I thought you already went to bed with Vicky.”

“No, that’s why I’m here. I wanted to know, if you would like me to sleep here with you?”

The second I ask this question, I see Jensen face lit up with happiness.

“Yeah, I would like that very much, but I thought you would want to sleep with Vicky?”

“Nope, not tonight and I’m gonna stay as many nights as you want me to. I’m just gonna get a t shirt, because I don’t wanna sleep I these things. So give me one second and I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

I get a clean t shirt from the laundry basked in the living room and return to Jensen. Jensen already got under the blanket, while I was away and now only his head is showing. I take off my shirt, jeans and socks, put on the new shirt and get under the blanked besides Jensen.

“How are your ribs feeling? Anything hurting to much?”

“No, not really, it’s just the bandage around my ribs, every time I move, it rub against my skin and that’s really uncomfortable.”

“Let me see. I think I can adjust the bandage a bit, so that won’t happen anymore.”

I pull back the blanket and Jensen lifts his sweatshirt up to his nipples. A take a quick lock at the bandage and readjust some of it, but I accidentally brush against his nipples and he quickly pulls the sweatshirt down. He turns red very quickly and turns away from me.

“Oh sorry, Jen,” I mumble and touch his shoulder. He slowly turns his head towards my direction, but still looks down at the bed.

“Sorry that I touched you like that. It wasn’t my intention to do than, okay? Please don’t be mad at me, Jen.”

“I’m not mad. It’s just Allison… she would, you know…”

“…hurt you?”

He nods. 

“Well you’re safe here. I’m not gonna let Allison hurt you again,” I say before I turn to my bedside table and turn of the light. It’s not completely dark in the room, a lamp on the street shines into our room just so I can see all the features on Jensen’s face.

“Try to sleep now. It’s late and it was a very exhausting day. And remember I’m right beside you and I’m not gonna leave you… ever.”

“Yeah, good night, Mish.”

“Night, Jen.”

I lay awake for about 20 minutes, because I just can’t fall asleep. Jensen seems to be able to sleep, at least it seems like that, because he hasn’t moved an inch the last 15 minutes. Or at least that’s what I think is going on, because all of a sudden Jensen stirs besides me and reaches towards my hand slowly. First his shaking fingers slightly brush against mine, than he takes a hold of my hand, his hands still shaking.

Jensen must think I’m asleep, otherwise I’m sure he wouldn’t have the courage to initiate such an intimate touch between us, so I keep my mouth shut and pretend to be asleep for him. God, he really is the sweetest guy I know. How could you possibly hurt him like that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love coments and kuddos, so please coment and kuddo (is that the verb?). Oh, and one thing have to ask. If there's anyone who would like to/ would be so kind to proofread my chapters, please coment as well. I promise i will answer. THANKS!


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